Red and Yellow evaluation
The purpose of the red and yellow questions is to find the emotional, mental and spiritual stressors a client may have.
As we know about the connection of the body and mind it is important to ask carefully about certain beliefs and emotional stressors. This will help to evaluate the client’s emotional state and stress level in order to provide adequate help.
Evaluate your SPIRITUAL situation:
What kind of beliefs does your client have in the spiritual area of life? Are these beliefs beneficial or do these beliefs cause unconscious stress.
Possible questions to evaluate spiritual state:
- Do you have any emotional reactions to spiritual/religious questions and beliefs? (e.g. hatred against any religion, annoyance, frustration, resentments, annoyance with non-believers, etc.)
- Do any of your family members or community members, suppress/annoy/frustrate you with their spiritual beliefs?
- Do you believe in a religion? Please describe.
- Do you perform any regular spiritual practices? (praying, meditation, chanting….)
- Do you know your life purpose or why you are here? Please describe.
Recommendation: Bringing awareness to certain beliefs, advising on certain spiritual practices depending on religious beliefs and cultural upbringing, acknowledgment of other people’s belief, understanding family dynamics and upbringing…
Evaluate your RELATIONSHIP situation:
Relationships are difficult and require a lot of work, understanding, opening our heart, listening and awareness of our own conditioning.
Emotions like jealousy, annoyance, frustration, anger but also fear, self-minimisation and hopelessness, can cause serious impairments to a patient’s health. Especially when they are held for a long time and become chronic.
Questions to evaluate your relationship situation:
- Do you have stress, anger and resentment with parents/children?
- How do you rate your parent’s care for you? Abuse? Neglect? Caring? Smothering? Overbearing?
- Do you have stress, anger and resentment with siblings?
- Do you have stress, anger and resentment with spouse or partner?
- Do you have stress, anger and resentment with work colleagues?
- Do you believe that you are the dominant or pleasing partner?
- Do you hold any resentment towards: mother, father, siblings, authority figures, spouse/partner, work colleagues?
As we observe our relationship patterns, we can tune into our inner child and what their experience was like growing up. We all have a story, and that story is what shaped us.
The child who grew up with parents who were struggling with addiction.
The child who grew up as the ‘scape goat’, bearing the weight of the family conflict.
The child who grew up in an environment where feelings weren’t safe to be expressed.
The child who grew up learning to tip-toe around caretakers to prevent big reactions.
The child who grew up learning that they had to be loud and explosive in order to be heard.
The child who learned that no matter what they did, it was never enough.
The child who learned that love was conditional, based on performance.
The child who learned that promises were often broken, that it wasn’t safe to rely on others.
These early experiences are what form our issues around trust, intimacy, authenticity, boundaries, and emotional expression.
Unlearning means slowly practicing new ways of being. Unlearning means releasing ourselves from our family conditioning that tell us we need to shut down or mute a part of ourselves in order to be loved.
When we step into who we are at our core, we open up doors for the people who are meant for us to fully love and appreciate us.
We have to get comfortable with the reality that not everyone is for us, and that doesn’t mean anything about us.
We have to get used to tuning into what we feel, what we like and dislike before handing the baton off to someone else and letting them decide for us.
When we have spent our whole lives living for our family – for our mother or our father, trying to be “good”, or trying to be “enough”, we can’t really show up for ourselves.
Healing is stripping away the shackles you’ve placed on yourself and trusting that you have the power, strength and resilience to lead from your heart instead of your conditioning.
Evaluation of your MENTAL situation:
The mind is in control of how we perceive our life. The mind is our ego, thoughts, beliefs it shapes our reality. This can be conscious or unconscious. Most of us identify with the mind fully and don’t recognise the stories the mind plays. Unfortunately, this can cause a lot of chronic stress as our conditioning can lead to unnecessary suffering.
Answering the following question will give the coach an understanding of how empowered the client’s mental state is.
Questions to evaluate your mental situation:
- Do you do regular meditation or other concentration exercises?
- Do you have a hard time stopping repetitive thoughts?
- Do you have a calming method that you perform regularly?
- Can you concentrate for a long __ , medium __ , short time __?
- Do you have any physical signs or symptoms when you are stressed (tight shoulders, back pain, twitching, fidgeting, jaw grinding/clenching, etc.)?
- Do you have a hobby/passion that you pursue on a regular basis?
Becoming conscious of our ego stories, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours is the first step towards healing. This can be achieved by self-observation through yoga, meditation, breathing, exercise, journaling and other forms of calm self-reflection.
Evaluation of your FINANCIAL stressors:
Financial stress can come from having no money but also from having too much. It can come from speculations and risk-taking as well as from not knowing how to pay the bills. That’s why our financial questions don’t focus on the amount but on the attitude a patient holds towards money.
Questions to evaluate your financial stressors:
- Where are you rich?
__ A deep spiritual belonging, __ knowledge and education, __ family and children, __ good looks and good health, __ a great job and good income, __ loads of savings and real estate, __ a big fan base who admire me, great relationship
- Do you have to worry about money and being able to pay the bills?
- Do you know how to earn money and can make it happen any time?
- Has money been a hot subject with loads of ups and downs?
- Are you good at saving and investing for the future?
Recommendation
Patients who have their financial department dis-empowered often need suggestions and ideas for fundraising. These types of patients need solutions in the way of financial empowerment. This helps to take the financial stress out of a patient’s life. These solutions are primarily a discussion between a patient and coach on what possibilities the patient has to raise money. Therefore, this is always an individualistic, location and situation specific approach. In case a patient is a high risk taker, a solid savings plan with a limited amount of investment risk can be suggested.
Fundraising can be done through community action as well as through certain websites such: GoFundMe, MyCause, Fundly, Crowdfunder
In case the client has a high stress level with not enough money, ask him or her to expand on the list of things he/she is rich in. These things can be anything from partners, children, wisdom, fitness, etc. This helps to make the client aware that riches is not only measured in money.
Evaluation of your SOCIAL situation:
Human beings have the right to decency, appreciation, respect and recognition. We all want to be heard and seen. However, often this isn’t the case, through our beliefs, conditioning and values we ultimately decide what we get in return from our society and social interactions.
The big problem here is values. People often do not respect you for what you give but for what they get from you. Many friendships are actually based off this exchange between one another. The other point is that ‘only if I value myself can others do the same’. This is what we call demanding respect. Why give my highest values to someone who does not appreciate them?
The answers to the following questionnaire will show you if stress comes from this department.
Questions to evaluate your social situation:
- Do you have satisfactory recognition for your work?
- Do people say ‘thank you, well done, great achievement’?
- What for?
- Do people pay you for your advice?
- Do you feel that you lack in recognition and appreciation?
- Do you get bullied/criticized? If so, by who and why?
Recommendations
A simple way to empower the social status of a patient is advising them to follow their passion. Whatever they love doing, push them to do it wholeheartedly with total engagement and to the maximum of their ability. Help them to determine a clear set goal and then ensure they stick to it. If whatever they do is for the benefit or service of others, the faster social recognition will be achieved. Clients that are bullied or suffer from disrespectful treatment require at least three areas of their lives to be empowered. If they follow their passion (social) and earn money doing so (financial) and learn how do to it best (mental) they ultimately empower the financial, mental and social status all at once.
Exercise
Ask the client to create a list of things they are already good at. Something where people already admire them and think they are great. This can be cooking, baking, painting, handling money or knitting. No judgment and no discrimination. Everything is great if it’s done with passion and will attract a fan club, clients and success.
Evaluation of your CAREER situation:
Most people spend more than half of their day at work. If these conditions are stressful, uninspiring or traumatizing it will have a negative effect on the patient’s health. The questions below, as well as those relating to work above, will give an indication of the patient’s work conditions and their attitude towards work.
Constant stressful situations will have chronic effects on a patient’s health even if currently symptoms are not present. The conditions that are associated with the most damage are when a person needs to work against their beliefs (vegetarian working in a butchery, boss forcing you to do things against your ideals, etc.). These conditions undermine the ‘self’ and through that have the most detrimental health effects.
Questions to evaluate your Career stress:
- What do you do for work?
- Do you perform work that you __ love __ do not like __ hate __ makes you sick?
- Do you have to work under constant pressure and in critical situations?
- Is your work __ boring, __ uninspiring, __ eventful and exciting, __ stressful and hectic, __ chaotic, __ unbearable?
If a person is completely dissatisfied, annoyed or frustrated with their work, it is better to find an alternative which they can build up carefully parallel to their current work. A transition to the new career is advised. In order to realize a dream, it is always necessary that patients follow their highest values and formulate a proper plan that is discussed with their partner, friend, coach or other expert.
